I was told that the path to happiness was to work hard, do well in school, give 110%, be tough, get good grades so I could get into a good college, and get a degree that would allow me to get a good job and support myself.
I was a good girl so I followed the script and did what I was
supposed to do. I got good grades, went to college and got a degree as a
chemical engineer. I got a job right out of college making good money that
allowed me to rent a nice apartment and buy a new car. I should have been on the
path to happiness, only I wasn’t.
I was “laid off” from my first job because I refused to be a pawn in the political maneuverings of my boss’s boss. So when I got my second job I worked even harder, gave 120%, and within a few years was promoted to technical manager – the youngest technical manager in their Research & Development group and only the second female.
Now I had a good job, prestige and a good title. I was happy, right? Not so much. Okay, not at all.
I had a boss who was a nice guy who hated conflict. Unfortunately this meant that, although he told our team to make quality our priority, he was unable to say no to sales and marketing, and would make promises that conflicted with the priorities he gave us. You can imagine the conflict and dissatisfaction this brought into my work life.
This caused me much stress. Why wasn’t I happy? I had
followed the rules as I understood them. What was wrong with me? I had a good
life. Shouldn’t I be happy? Why wasn’t it enough?
I began to dread going into work. On Mondays I would wake up
wondering how in the world I was going to get through the day, let alone the week
or another 40 years. In the evenings I found that even after a 45
minute commute home I needed a half an hour or more to “veg” on the couch until
I started feeling more like myself and could interact with my husband, Dave.
Dave and I met at my first job. I often joked with him that we should have
remained co-workers, because we had far more quality time when we worked
together than we did as a married couple.
I was trying to make light of how I felt, but I knew I didn’t want to
live my life like this. I was tired of wishing away the weekdays and living for
weekends and our meager vacation time.
It took me a while to start to figure that picture out. I
think it was the first time that I turned to myself for answers to that
question. For so long I just followed the guides that had been provided to me.
I didn’t know that I was allowed to choose for myself! Or that I could choose
to love all parts of my life!
As I was wrapping up my sessions with my coach, my husband
and I found out that I was pregnant – with twins!! This was a blessing in many
ways, including that we decided after their birth that it didn’t make sense for
me to return to work and place them in day care. What a happy day and wonderful
gift that was!
Being home with our girls gave me the space to really
start thinking about what is important in life.
After many conversations, Dave and I decided that we wanted to take more
control over our lives and to spend more time together as a family.
Self-employment seemed a good way to achieve these goals.
For the first year of motherhood all of my time was focused
on care and feeding of our little babies. But as they got older, I found myself
with tiny bits of free time. I used that
free time to start building the life I had imagined during the sessions with my
coach. And I continued to read and study and learn about topics such as self
improvement, life coaching, law of attraction and living a life I love.
The two careers that I had unearthed as appealing to me
during my work with the life coach were to be a fine artist and to be a life
coach. I initially discounted the second one as being a side effect of my
extreme gratitude for my life coach and all she had taught me.
During an art event in 2009, four of my friends, in three
separate conversations, talked about wanting to live their dreams rather than
just settling for their current careers.
I am not a believer in coincidences, so I took this as a sign and
created the Lehigh Valley Dream Team.
The Dream Team was a vehicle for sharing all I had learned
on my own journey to build a life I loved. We met monthly for two years and
used our meetings as a forum for discussing the big goals in our lives as well
as the challenges we faced in achieving them.
This team provided a wonderful accountability and support for this group
of friends and helped launch the successful start-up and expansion of several
businesses.
Meanwhile, I continued focusing on my own personal
development, taking several online programs with business and life
coaches. I also convinced Dave to work
with a business coach to accelerate the growth of his financial planning
practice so he could fully transition out of his corporate job and into self
employment.
As we worked together on his coaching coursework, it
became obvious that I had the desire to help people pursue their dream life in
a bigger way. Turns out my career aspiration to be a life coach was not just a
reflection of my gratitude for my first coach. Dave, having experienced the
energy and joy of working with the Dream Team also had the strong desire to
help people in this way. Thus, our Accelerate Your Dream Life coaching business
was born in 2012.
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